1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is: "oh - ma - ha."

 

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Omaha has its own version of traffic rules...the truck with the loudest exhaust goes next at a 4-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires goes after that. (Note: Blue haired ladies driving anything have right of way anytime.)

 

3. To find anything in Omaha it is required that you know where 72nd & Dodge is... which is the Alpha and Omega. The Beginning and the End.

 

4. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

 

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.

 

6. You must know that "JFK Freeway, MLK Freeway, I-480 and U.S. 75" are the same road.

 

7. Construction is a permanent fixture in Omaha. The barrels are moved around in the middle of the night to make the next days driving a bit more exciting.

 

8. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as deer, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other cars, opossum, truck tires, raccoons, squirrels, rabbits, and crows or vultures feeding on any of these items.

 

9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated".

 

10. The minimum acceptable speed on "JFK, MLK, I-480, & U.S. 75 (see above) is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. This is Nebraska's version of NASCAR.

 

11. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.

 

12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 55-65 zone ... you are considered a road hazard, and will be "flipped off" accordingly.

 

13. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended for city driving.

 

14. If it's 10 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.

 

15. If it's 10 to 20 degrees and sleeting/snowing, then watch out. Omaha residents consider this "demolition derby day" and will be all over the roads (front ways, back ways, etc). Please proceed with caution as you could be their next target.

 

16. If it has rained and turned to ice on Halloween, it will be postponed til the next week.

 

Again we say, WELCOME TO OMAHA, NEBRASKA. Enjoy your stay.